So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize