your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
