Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
