If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
