the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
