I didn't shave. On purpose
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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