shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Will exercising make me less horny?
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