And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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