Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize