If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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