i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
