You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
