oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
