remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
