What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
