I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
