super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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