Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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