Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Drunk is not a location!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
