he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize