Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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