Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
