Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
