med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
