And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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