Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
