He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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