absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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