I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
