i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
