You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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