Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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