Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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