Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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