I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
