ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
