If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
