Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
