Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
