I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The best revenge is premature balding
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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