why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
