i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
