One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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