Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize