You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
