wakey wakey hands off snakey
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
