season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
