Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You pole danced in your parka.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
