All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
party gras won. party gras always wins.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
