i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
