yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
