Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
