I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
