I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
