There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
