Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
